Bite Me!

Compliments and remarks need to function in a way, that renders a feel good factor to the receiver if not complete elation. However, few remarks come across like colloquial scissors, making you scream, "Bite Me!".

Some of the faux pas targeted at me, voluntarily/involuntarily (or maybe I misread(being completely adept at reading between the wrong lines))....

• "You don't look your age.".......What does that mean??? How exactly a 27 year old (umm...or almost 28) should look like? and I look older or younger? In the latter case I would have itched to reply "I take lessons from Cleopatra".

• "Not many women your age can flaunt a skirt".....Well, its a skirt, comfortable, airy, looks great and serves the purpose...unless I have legs that morph into snakeskin as I grew older.

•  "Don't worry, you will get married soon. Anyways, women can reproduce till 35"....Whatttttt!  That was supposed to be your prophecy or premonition??? Whatever it is, I so wish, I could sprout out my fangs and spew some venom. Its so common in varied forms though, that  the impact has transcended from appalled...to trauma...to wry smile (with the undercurrents of "You are surely not invited, to my wedding" whenever it happens in eternity).

• "People from your batch have reached great heights...you will too someday".....Well, thats an euphemism for "You are a loser". I have achieved something. I like to think so. And thanks for the salt that my wounds were hankering for!

• "You look good in pictures".....Its like tequila shot, gives you high for the moment and then downright squeamish. Okay, I agree a little editing doesn't hurt. But the Instagrams and Picassas of the world are so alluring....Blame them!

However, the last assault takes away the cake.

• "Looking at you Facebook profile, I thought you are an over smart kinda girl"........Just then the earth should have torn apart, and swallowed me off the human race. You know whats wrong in my FB profile? YOU are there in my friends list!

So, ladies and gentlemen, next time we run into each other and you pass any of the above comments, and accidentally your vehicle gets punctured, or my coffee spills on you (oops!), or you get stalked, don't blame it on Karma ;)