How to love your fat

No seriously, that was not a statement but a question. HOW to love your body fat?

This is probably the aeon when womanhood is graceful only when its skinny and skinny is not just skin deep. Its the jawline, the double chin, the forearms, the love handles, the thigh gap, the calf muscles, the pot belly, the basketball-cut-into-halves butt and what not. What a benevolence it would be if your body parts came with extra fittings. Replace them with the best available size on sale.

Its a complete gag show when the ladies are suddenly cognizant of their weight. Like when they thank the heavens that loose fit is back in fashion and how that jacket would camouflage the unwelcomed bulges. How straight hair slims their face contour and how the not-so-classy high waist jeans actually has a utility purpose. The stripes ought to be vertical coz horizontal stripes makes you look like lady bumble bee. Yes, even 50 shades of grey was color coded for slimming purposes in the first place.

My personal favorite are women (like myself) who like the abstraction of a diet plan. The moment they sniff a Biryani, there comes the gyaan  "Khao yaar, yahi asli sukh hai" or "Ek din khaane se kuch nhi hoga" or "Gym to jaana hi hai kal se".

Funda-mentally, its not our fault. Its the stupid movies. Never has the aam janta witnessed ever where the hero falls for a fat chick. Those are the ones who conjure up nefarious plots to split the couple to win the guy over or the ones who end up being our hero's best friend. Bhumi Pednekar was probably the saving grace, the last hope when she won over Ayushman khurrana solely with her inner beauty. Then it was a slap on the inner beauty, when she featured on the cover of Vogue magazine, half her size, enunciating, "Learn the journey of Bhumi's transformation and rediscovering herself". Bhencho!

Its even more stirring that we have a defense for that too..."Unhe to paise milte hain patle hone ke liye". I mean in a way that's true, but then why are the fashion mongers so unfair. The one dress which skipped your heart a beat, that one dress which would have made you look rich, that one dress which would have changed your relationship status, bloody doesn't fit the way it did on the mannequin. It now shrieks to be freed in the trial room when you call for help in the half worn/half torn dress empathizing  with Sarabjit all caged up in Pakistan.

To top it all restaurants now days have joined the dementia to fish the "figure conscious food connoisseurs". Fat free gajar ka halwa with diced carrot sprinkled with sugar free, cooked in low cal dairy with your choice of nuts. What? was the poor cow fasting for my damn halwa??

No matter what your mirror tells you, remember a perfect body is a delusion. **Conditions Applied**

**Does not apply to those who have the money for liposuction and implants.