As a kid, I never understood why the older generation was so much into politics. I always disregarded this topic as it bored me to death. Why was I supposed to bother who the damned person on earth is elected for whatsoever chair. And who the hell goes out to vote in the sun when you can sleep for the whole day on a paid leave.
Now I know why. It is a matured man's entertainment. A live opera for the working class. A power packed drama replete with comedy, action, revenge, dumdaar dialogues and everything that makes bollywood take a backseat for a while.
Like any hit masala flick, Indian election 2014, has all the ingredients grinded together, that serves hot till the release date. The destiny of our country designed by the caricatures, etched in the political mayhem.
1. Like every bollywood movie, there is a widowed "Maa" (Godmother). Only this time, she hails from Italy and claims to be more Indian than Bharat maata (Mother India) herself. She has been ruling India without ever becoming the Prime Minister of India...Well, It happens only in India!
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2. Then there is the "Shehzaada" (prince), whose IQ could be lesser than the temperature of Delhi in peak winters. The Godmother reserves the place for Him to become the king by all means possible, but the 'shehzaada' blabbers out his fallacy to the nation. Ask him the solution to India's communal war...and he utters "Women empowerment" Tch..tch...tch!
3. There is no hero here, only 'superhero', who gets a whole clan butchered in communal war in his tenure as Chief Minister of Gujrat, gets a clean chit and proclaims to be the lone savior of Hinduism. His speech is tenacious and is permeated with words like Hindutva-Hindustan-Hindu-Shehzaade-Zeher-Corruption-Hindutva-Hindustaan-Hindu......and so on. A strong contender for the post of PM, has taken the nation by storm with his "Modified" campaigns.
4. There is a new launch who claims to be an Aam Admi (Mango Man) and gets slapped by an auto driver for reasons known to the whole nation. The dude slaps lawsuit and fines on anyone/everyone rich, wins the confidence of people, becomes the Cheif Minister of Delhi, makes lots of enemies, resigns from the post in 6 weeks and contests again for the post of Prime Minister....Heights of being ambitious I say! All that the AAP followers have to say now is.. "Kya Chu**** Banaya".
5. The "Didi", managed to kick the communist party, which had been ruling for 30 odd years in West Bengal, out of power. Ask her any controversial question and you might end up behind the bars on the grounds of being communist or maoist, depending on her mood that day.
6. The hyper media - The political ad campaigns have gone to all new levels inundating the social media with the likes of "Janta maaf nahi karegi" lamers doing the rounds on FM and TV and FB and Godforsaken Whatsapp too!
But Arnab Goswami takes away the cake, and also the pride of his guests.
The infamous news anchor has mastered the art of asking his guests nudging questions,chiding their replies with further accusations and then yelling at them for not answering the question he did not let them answer.
7.The Sothern Take - Down south the "Amma" (Jayalalitha), the current CM of Tamil Nadu, exhibits what women empowerment in it's true sense. Her majesty's greatness is so great that the likes of Obama and Putin bow down to her. When bored of dodging criminal cases, Karunanidhi and Amma are busy spewing venom at each other.
8. The Item Number - How can Indian Politics be untouched with an item number. This year guess who is contesting for the PM job? Rakhi Sawant it is. The plastic surgery fanatic has decided to take her attention seeking worm to the political level. Contesting as an individual candidate, she talks more about her khadi designer than national issues (only if she is aware of any). Is she stands a chance,of all we know, Chunkey Pandey might be our next PM
Amongst all this brouhaha, no matter how good, bad or ugly the melodrama looks like, do not forget that the "Right to Vote" is one of the greatest rights our country and our democracy has given us, that we should enforce with our wits.
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