Darker the night, brighter the stars!

The path we tread is not always a bed of roses. Sometimes without our knowledge the destination changes. We were supposed to travel to a holiday destination, how did it end up in hell hole. Thats how life is just meant to be.

Roads will always be there. We need to find the right one to walk along. Changes in life are good, no matter how murky and judged you may feel. Changes are there for a reason. Its there because you made some errors, its there because you need to learn. Its there, so that you get a fresh start. We are not complacent out of our comfort zone. But what else would life be, if its not one hell of a roller coaster ride after all.

We often see pictures of happy faces and presume they have the most blessed life on earth. Its only before those pictures, there would  have been atrocious grief. Grief, which no one is supposed to know. No one leads their "perfect life". We need to make things perfect which exists. No one wronged you, because no one is bad person. People react as and how circumstances trigger them. That does not make someone less of a human.
So what if you are at the receiving end at times, there will be another day when you will beholding the gun.

A perfect Sunday is never perfect. A perfect marriage is never perfect. Perfect children are never perfect, so is never this perfect LIFE. But there are Sundays which are just beyond perfect when they were not meant to be. How did THAT happen? It happened because you deserved it. It happens because you will always be bestowed with gifts you did not ask for. Preserve that gift but don't obsess over it, because one day that gift will also not be perfect.

Rhyme worth a dime.

The hair which looked fragile,
Has been fathomed to shine.

The shades of time,
The wrath and grime.
Shrouded well, the crevices and fine lines.

Took on the heat and wheezed still,
Fluttered and seduced, but decayed still.

Salted and peppered,
Straightened and tampered.
Flinched to be touched to be felt withered.

Danced  in revelry and sweated in sultry.
Bounce they said, fatigued it heaved.

Washed to the roots, matched with the boots.
Tied in a knot, acquitted at last.

Set wild to grow and cropped to show.
Got drenched in rain and trickled in vain.

Kept growing till the last breath,
Was it in genes, or was it just the dead cells.

Caressed in love and torn in trial.
It broke a little with every consequence dire.

Whats in the mirror that made you turn.
Which made your day, and to never return.

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Eternal Musings Of a Loquacious Mind

Yes, its up, close and personal now. Lately, my mind talks a lot to me. Most of it does not make sense (talk about the irony), but at times it does. It's like a disjointed entity that shoves it's logic upon me. It gives me signs, warns me, eludes me, makes me laugh and most of the time I shout at it, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Well, it won't, has a mind of it's own you see.

I have always talked about all the fun stuff in my blogs. But what about pain and disappointment. After all a major chunk of this generation faces it more often than their annual appraisals. How many times have you had a FULL day without one negative influence trying to pull your spirit down. Yeah, you grumpy faces, I am talking about you.

Life surprises us in more ways than Sallu Bhai's movies. At times you are in absolute awe of it and other times you wish you had a loaded gun after the movie was over. However, every movie leaves you with a nice jingle. Likewise, is LIFE.

I have had my share of uncalled for rendezvous with life. I have witnessed death, disease, bad job, heartbreak and what not. Things which we always shield ourselves from. No matter how shielded you are, things find a way of encroaching your horizons like an unguarded missile. You wish it was a bad dream. You wish it's all a hoax. You wish it never happened. But wish my friend is not reality. You suffer in pain. Your mind enslaves you with all possible cynicism. No matter how much you try, you are unable to snap out of this loop. But one day the suffering ends and surprises you how you got over it. You feel empowered and you know you have scaled up one notch higher. And you are all guns blazing once you have made truce with your biggest fears.

I recall an instance when a friend of mine was going through a cataclysmic chapter. Her long term relationship came to an abrupt end. She felt cheated, vulnerable, wrecked and junked. Trust me, her anguish lasted for not more than 3 days. When I questioned her about this secret super power, you would be surprised what did the trick. She used to rant about this guy being like a snake. He hardly ever fought with her, never abused, never used violence, but one fine day out of nowhere he decided to call it quits. He was just bored and not into her anymore. For 3 days at a stretch she whined and howled and wished he would come back and things would be fine. He DID NOT. Then one day she started analyzing the situation, what went wrong. She just couldn't sink it in. Then she started picturing him like a snake. A calm quiet snake, which makes no noise, creates no havoc, has innocent eyes and out of nowhere takes its fangs out and bites the one close to him. That person is poisoned and scarred to life, and the snake wriggles out into its hideout. It was like a wake up call. A snake is a snake and can never be a pet. Now, every time she thought of him she imagined a snake instead of his face. His thoughts only makes her laugh now. Magic does exist :)

The problem only exists in our mind. If we have had our share of joy, we have to have our share of sorrow. This cycle is inevitable. The adversities will someday break your back. You might not have the endurance to walk. Start crawling. You might hurt your knees or scrape your elbows, but the idea is to keep moving. One day you will reach your haven and no sooner you will be running at a jet speed, UNSTOPPABLE.

Dear heart, take heart.
Coz' I am not done yet!

The more you break, the more you beat.
The more you beat, the more I am alive.

You do hurt at times. You also shower selfless love.
You shrink in a corner and then you jump with joy.

O' Heart, take heart.
There will be more blood to pump.

If you beat for me, why should something beat me.
You have not been wrong. It was mind that played the games.

x-x-x

The Bucket List

Last year had been a complete freak show. Well, don't we reiterate that every year. I am yet to come to terms with the fact that 2014 has ended....well almost. Time to prepare by bucket list for 2015 already! Blaady......what about 2014 list. Ignorance is bliss my friend.

Its not that I did not gain anything this year. I did gain few things, like extra pounds (not the currency), grey hair (!@#$), Few more friends on Facebook, who are probably blocked by now, over-time pay at work and, 400 levels in Candy Crush.

Anyways, this time, I really do want to introspect and prepare a bucket list for myself. Sorry, it does not include the 'Ice Bucket Challenge'.
As procrastination is my middle name, the list might serve for 2016 as well. Does not really matter actually, until there is a list in black and white.

#1 Topnotch priority is, visit to the Spiti Valley and Kufri in Himachal Pradesh, along with munching on fresh      apples straight from the grooves in Manali.

#2 Sale or no sale, have money, will buy that Guess handbag.

#3 Will write atleast a blog a month.

#4 Snorkeling in the Andamans.

#5 Abs like Deepika. Okay, we might omit this one.

#6 Will read a book every month.

#7 Personal Website.

#8 Work for a different firm.

#9 Buy my own car

#10 Goa to banta hai ek baar!

*Conditions Apply

*The above list is editable at author's whim and fancy. The author is not responsible if the leaves don't get approved and inflation scores another level.

No,Seriously!

#F-BookChronicles

Now, blogging this article, I feel like I am experiencing 'Chutzpah', for being a social media addict myself. For those, who did not get it, do watch HAIDER.

Mankind has reached the stage of Nirvana.We have started looking at the inner beauty of things. Clicking pics of insects with ultra zoom lenses has become socially acceptable. Every DSLR owner worth its salt must post pictures of insects/flowers/rain drops/cow shit with #NaturePhotography. Ever wondered what if there was a button next to "like" such as "Boooo". There I go again....'Chutzpah' moment.

Checking In....

Most checked in place on earth are airports. Specially when someone is flying abroad. As if there was any other mode of transport. Every Indian worth its salt  need to abide by the unsaid rule of checking into the International Airport even if he is flying to Ladakh. 

Gone are the days when clicking pics in Starbucks, abroad to show off to fellow Indians back home, was a moment of national pride. The big brands have eventually made their way into Mother India. Indianization of such food chains have satisfied aunties and uncles alike with their local variants. For instance, McAlooTikki (or, as McDonalds describes it, a mouth watering fried potato patty infused with Indian spices so scarce that the British could rule another 100 years to find them, had they not lost to Aamir's team in Lagaan)

Ever since FB came into being, our ladies have rediscovered the purpose of their being, ofcourse after the Sasuraal Simar Ka... troll. That is, posting pictures of dishes captioned such as, "Tried lauki daal with extra dhaniya....my surprise to hubby <3" while on the other side dear hubby caught posting "Work work work....hate to stay at office on a weekend". 

Our new age mommies don't crib often nowadays, as posting cute baby pics is their new found passion, coz preparing baby food and babysitting without instagramming is just too mainstream. #CutebabyEatsTheCameraAsMommyIsBusyPhotoshopping.

Festivals in India have evolved over the years too. Now people not posting happy pictures in their ethnic avatar might be hashtagged into #SocialOutcasts. Now people do gather for a  #HappyfamilyMoment.

Our Indian diaspora has now acquired a new obsession of jugaad, ie it is now much more easier to beg for jobs and recommendations. We have LinkedIn.  Now one can shamelessly publish their resume on the profile and add people as "recommendations". Now asking for job opportunities from complete strangers is counted as professional etiquette. Not to forget, it also serves as a reality check for the Shaadi.com mongers.

I can go on and on, but I do not wish my effigies to be burnt on the streets with #Moron #Jobless #MissuseOfFreedomOfSpeech. And, in case you wish to curse me cumulatively, I had declared Chutzpah moment as a disclaimer ;)

Elections in India 2014 - Comedy of Errrrr ors

As a kid, I never understood why the older generation was so much into politics. I always disregarded this topic as it bored me to death. Why was I supposed to bother who the damned person on earth is elected for whatsoever chair. And who the hell goes out to vote in the sun when you can sleep for the whole day on a paid leave.

Now I know why. It is a matured man's entertainment. A live opera for the working class. A power packed drama replete with comedy, action, revenge, dumdaar dialogues and everything that makes bollywood take a backseat for a while.

Like any hit masala flick, Indian election 2014, has all the ingredients grinded together, that serves hot till the release date. The destiny of our country designed by the caricatures, etched in the political mayhem.

1. Like every bollywood movie, there is a widowed "Maa" (Godmother). Only this time, she hails from Italy and claims to be more Indian than Bharat maata (Mother India) herself. She has been ruling India without ever becoming the Prime Minister of India...Well, It happens only in India!

2. Then there is the "Shehzaada" (prince), whose IQ could be lesser than the temperature of Delhi in peak winters. The Godmother reserves the place for Him to become the king by all means possible, but the 'shehzaada' blabbers out his fallacy to the nation. Ask him the solution to India's communal war...and he utters "Women empowerment" Tch..tch...tch!

3. There is no hero here, only 'superhero', who gets a whole clan butchered in communal war in his tenure as Chief Minister of Gujrat, gets a clean chit and proclaims to be the lone savior of Hinduism. His speech is tenacious and is permeated with words like Hindutva-Hindustan-Hindu-Shehzaade-Zeher-Corruption-Hindutva-Hindustaan-Hindu......and so on. A strong contender for the post of PM, has taken the nation by storm with his "Modified" campaigns.

4. There is a new launch who claims to be an Aam Admi (Mango Man) and gets slapped by an auto driver for reasons known to the whole nation. The dude slaps lawsuit and fines on anyone/everyone rich, wins the confidence of people, becomes the Cheif Minister of Delhi, makes lots of enemies, resigns from the post in 6 weeks and contests again for the post of Prime Minister....Heights of being ambitious I say! All that the AAP followers have to say now is.. "Kya Chu**** Banaya".

5. The "Didi", managed to kick the communist party, which had been ruling for 30 odd years in West Bengal, out of power. Ask her any controversial question and you might end up behind the bars on the grounds of being communist or maoist, depending on her mood that day.

6. The hyper media - The political ad campaigns have gone to all new levels inundating the social media with the likes of "Janta maaf nahi karegi" lamers doing the rounds on FM and TV and FB and Godforsaken Whatsapp too!

But Arnab Goswami takes away the cake, and also the pride of his guests.

The infamous news anchor has mastered the art of asking his guests nudging questions,chiding their replies with further accusations and then yelling at them for not answering the question he did not let them answer.

7.The Sothern Take - Down south the "Amma" (Jayalalitha), the current CM of Tamil Nadu, exhibits what women empowerment in it's true sense. Her majesty's greatness is so great that the likes of Obama and Putin bow down to her. When bored of dodging criminal cases, Karunanidhi and Amma are busy spewing venom at each other.

8. The Item Number - How can Indian Politics be untouched with an item number. This year guess who is contesting for the PM job? Rakhi Sawant it is. The plastic surgery fanatic has decided to take her attention seeking worm to the political level. Contesting as an individual candidate, she talks more about her khadi designer than national issues (only if she is aware of any). Is she stands a chance,of all we know, Chunkey Pandey might be our next PM

Amongst all this brouhaha, no matter how good, bad or ugly the melodrama looks like, do not forget that the "Right to Vote" is one of the greatest rights our country and our democracy has given us, that we should enforce with our wits.

Bollywood Bananas

PREAMBLE - We the people of India, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a Sovereign Socialist Secular Democratic Bollywood frenzy Republic. We make peace with our foes through our cinema. We have more Khans in Bollywood than in Pakistan. We are harmless - Hence Proved. 

The Indian Cinema is the ultimate gospel for us cinephiles. We have started believing the unbelievable. We do not question our heroes, when he battles 100 goons (all double his size) and manages to get away with few droplets of blood streaming down is nose or lips. P.S. - No first aid is as curative as the bandage of the torn pallu of his heroine.

We do not question the illegible censor board certificate with it's miniscule writing, which for some reason, the audience tries to decode as if it was Anil Ambani's will presented on 360mm wide screen, which the audience gets to divide among themselves. The only characters visible and worth reading are V/A or V/UA (this would provoke few people to leave the theater swearing under their breath).

We do not question the flamboyancy of our Bollywood movies, where everything is Queen size. Be it their bed, house, location, family (that of Alok Nath's) or even their motorbikes (Please watch Dhoom 3 if you have suicidal tendencies, and make the suicide happen). An impromptu dance number is always welcome, be it a wedding or a funeral. If it's a foreign location, the itch to dance multiplies manifold. It does not matter if its a busy public spot. For others it might be crazy, but for us, it is the spread of Indian culture.

The unquestionable part of the Bollywood movie is that it is twice or even thrice the length of a Hollywood movie, with 1/3rd of its content. The interval serves a good reason to crib about the movie and consume double the popcorn in anticipation of how bad the other half could be.

We do not question our Heroes, when He defies the laws of Physics, like that of gravity, relativity, motion, inertia....etc(Rohit Shetty being the new Newton). Our heroes only abides by His INLAWs. They even outshine the superheroes. No matter how many bullets have pierced His body, He does not die before completing His dialogue. He is either ultra rich or ultra poor. The heroines are the delicate darlings who, besides staring at the mirror and murmuring to themselves, perpetually admiring at their beauty, also run around the bushes and promote Go Green.Contrary to the popular belief, it is always the vamp lady who reunites the family after a change of heart. Bloody! :P

The villians are the most disciplined ones. They are quite cooperative and choose to come only one by one to confront the hero, while the others form a circle and patiently wait for their turn to get beaten to pulp. As soon as they get beaten, with the mandatory dhishum dhishum as the background score, each one falls down on some extreme corner and lies there wriggling in pain.

Horror movies are equally eccentric. Mostly, people come out of theaters laughing, as it turns into unintentional comedy movie. It gets tough to decipher what was more ghastly, the funny makeup of the ghost, the shrill background music deafening the audience, the kinky heroine or the old skinny doorman steadily upholding the lantern for decades. For some reason the old housekeeper remains unattacked in the haunted house. 
For example, Vikram Bhatt's Haunted (not to forget -3D) where he uses the formulaic horror tropes - mist, screeching doors, books that fall by themselves and blaring background music that insists that you be scared. To top it all there is a ghost rape too....

Howbeit, our movies have garnered true-blue fan base overseas for unknown reasons. Maybe it is....

1)  Audiences feel that it is their moral responsibility to watch Abhishek Bachhan and Uday Chopra's movies as a mark of respect to their dads.

2) They have not seen any of Tusshar Kapoor's movies yet. Otherwise, the global boycott of Indian cinema was inevitable.

3) They are still wondering, why is Yo yo Honey Singh paid more than the hero, when he is not even there in the film and why does he attempt to rap like Eminem.

4) Katrina Kaif is getting hotter than global warming.

5) They want to crack the mystery, how can Raknikant be born before his father.

6) They want to know who is this guy Karan Johar, whose movies have the "senti" quotient to the par of lunacy.

7) Salman Khan's wriggle and jiggle has been misconstrued as a different kind of dance form altogether to beat constipation.

Shah Rukh and Salman reunite....whatever that means

LOL :D

P.S:  This monograph is subject to market risks. Viewer's discretion is required before spending on PVR tickets. Get a Wi Fi for God's sake!